Explaining Life, Relationships, And a Lack of Sanity

Posts tagged ‘swingers’

Celibacy After the Teenage Years

It is hard!

At least for me…. I’m in a very strong relationship.

Without sex

It wasn’t always like that, We were very active at one point. So how the hell are you supposed to drop a damn near perfect sex life?

Don’t ask me because I don’t know. I still don’t know how I’m doing it now. I mean honestly think about it, you may still be in that stage “before marriage”, but it has become a loosely enforced moral system more or less. This is no longer a matter of age, it is a matter simply of choice and what you are doing with your sexuality. And for many, it is saving it, or attempting to save what is left of a proper self, for who you want to be your last. I mean honestly, deep in your chest most ladies don’t want to go into a relationship where you can’t keep the list of people you’ve had sex within the count of all of your fingers (and for some your toes). I mean sure, there are some men who search for women who are “experienced”, but who wants the hot dog in an empty hallway effect?

Let’s begin with the beginning of time idea of “saving sex until marriage”:
I mean, it is completely reasonable. There are many (as in damn near the majority of the most known) cultures in which virginity when entering marriage is expected and in most cases required. If you ignore certain degrees in which this came about, it is almost romantic. The first time you receive that sensual touch, that passionate heart-melting kiss, its with that person that you will be spending the rest of your life with. Then again on the other hand where women are treated as property and they must be a “pure” item for their future husband… well that just takes all of the cute out of it.

Anyways…. I’m getting off point. Waaaaaay off point. Whether it be a religious thing or a personal thing, for many it is hard to do. And the later you go into generations, nearly impossible to do. There is this (very sad) general idea that you need to “test the sex filled waters” before you get married to find out what you like. Let me tell you from now, the more you test it, sure, you will indeed know what you like. Yet your expectations will be raised to a state that is simply unreachable. You can date a sex god and you won’t be satisfied because they didn’t do that “special thing” that your last partner did. I guess knowing that little tidbit it may derail you from the whole, testing the waters before hand, but I doubt it will stop that many people completely. Now what if you are (or you think you are) with that person that you do plan on being with for the rest of your life? What then? What healthy and stable person drops sex with their assumed permanent partner completely?

  1. For those working/ in school: pregnancy scares. What can scare anyone more than your future being put in fast forward and on hold at the same time  while getting a new responsibility?
  2. Work/School: If that’s the reason your sex stops, your relationship is very screwed and you should either find time for sex or find a counselor.
  3. An epiphany: Because we all know in a good permanent-ish relationship, you don’t walk away from sex gods.

For the swingers….
Leaving sex is like trying to break a bad habit for those who engage in sex more for the fun rather than having sex in the sense of being in a relationship. The idea of not having sex before marriage is completely shocking for some.  It is a sense of empowerment. What are you supposed to do without not only the entertainment of sex, but how do you subtly express your freaky sexuality without needing to express it in public? Um….. masturbation? In all honesty I don’t know. I have met some very angry and frustrated people on a sexual dry spell. Did I mention angry? But see, the thing is, no one cares what you do with your down south (unless the idea is towards a woman, then people become straight up sexist; that is for another day)
All in all, no one knows where that voluntarily stops. Not bashing, I’ve seen both versions of the book. Without the emotional connection, there is more sex with less commitment. Thus it equals a lot more sex. Yes, I do think that makes sense.

For those who haven’t gotten laid yet:
To some of you I say congrats, you have avoided years upon years of douche bags and peer pressure. To others, those whom are trying to get laid and are failing miserably, at least you have very good patience…. or arm muscles. The frustration only gets worse once you’ve discovered how good sex can get.

So going celibate? Ehhhhh….. your choice. I find that mess hard.  Its harder as you get older because it is more of a choice than a restriction. The mindset becomes, you’re allowed to, so then why aren’t you.


But please do the world a favor, try not to let it drive you publicly crazy. It makes all of us just look awkward.

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