Explaining Life, Relationships, And a Lack of Sanity

Posts tagged ‘long distance’

Long Distance

I keep turning around thinking maybe just maybe my imagination hasn’t simply gone wild and I’ll catch a glimpse of your beautiful smile… but that is simply not going to happen. Because you are miles away in a land where I simply can’t touch you or hold you in a way where I should. Where if this were a normal relationship I could. Were this a normal relationship I would not be writing this. But instead I still in tears as people tell me to suck it up because there are people who “don’t get the chance to be with that proper someone”. If you have never been with the proper someone, then you are not experiencing the same pain. It is not something of a lesser pain, because the areas are not the same and are not to be compared. For those who do know and love that proper person, you also know that you are not supposed to be separated.

This is NOT for the teeny-boppers who want to defy their parents and their childhood for the first little boy that calls them beautiful with hidden intentions. I am not talking about that guy/girl that your friends and family tell you to leave and do better, and yet you stay with them hoping and praying they will change because that is the only idea of love you know. I am speaking of real commitment. That commitment you find after multiple experiences of trying and failing and they slowly put your heart back together one tiny piece at a time.

There are many points during my relationship in which I thought…. “What is the point of a long distance relationship?” Is it honestly still considered a relationship if you see them less than you see anyone else in the list of people you consider important in your life? That occasional phone call or Skype date in between work/class/life/etc., may give you that emotional boost for a moment, but when that call ends where does it leave you? That feeling of pure elation turning into complete and utter loneliness can be crippling. Looking past your computer screen or your phone you realize that your room is still empty. That your bed still has that extra space. That warmth you felt was only an illusion caused by the honey of his/her voice. How long will you be able to endure that pain of never knowing?

One of the hardest things to go through with a long distance relationship is trust. It is much harder if your relationship has always been long distance rather than beginning as a traditional relationship. When you’ve always been apart do you honestly feel the same commitment than if you saw them everyday? AND YOU WONDER WHERE TRUST ISSUES COME FROM!

I’m only here to make this short though….when you finally come together physically, do you have enough in common? Can you honestly function as a normal couple? Though you may have been together for years, it is like going through the honeymoon stage all over again. But with the honeymoon stage comes with the stage in which there is a blunt reality. Beginning to weigh the pros and cons of your relationship. It is almost unhealthy. A voice over the phone is completely different from a person in front of you.

For those who have kids within a long distance relationship, it is a little different. okay, a lot different. But I can’t write on that because I am still a college student and haven’t had the blessing of being in the right place in life to have children yet.

But…. Any ideas on how to make a long distance relationship work? Or possibly how to deal with the stress/loneliness/depression of long distance relationships?

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